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1. Strangle Alan Kerber to death.

2. Stab Alan Kerber to death.

3. Lock Alan Kerber in a closest and starve him to death.

4. Hang Alan Kerber.

5. Cut Alan Kerber's head off.

6. Kick Alan Kerber to death.

7. Release the zoo animals to stampede on Alan Kerber until he dies.

8. Drop Alan Kerber down a bottomless pit and let him grow old until he dies.

9. Break every bone in Alan Kerber's body until he dies.

10. Scratch Alan Kerber to death.

11. Make Alan Kerber bleed until he dies.

12. Drown Alan Kerber.

13. Make Alan Kerber watch Barney until he dies.

14. Flush Alan Kerber down a toilet.

15. Play human darts with Alan Kerber (fun!)

16. Staple Alan Kerber to death.

17. Push Alan Kerber off a cliff (thanks for the idea, Jam)

18. Run Alan Kerber over with a blue corvette (thanks again for the idea, Jam)

19. Suffocate Alan Kerber to death (thanks again, Jam =--=)

20. Hang Alan Kerber by his ankles, skin him, and stuff his mouth with his own flesh. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA (thankies, Stanford)

21. Shoot Alan Kerber to death. (fun, too!)

22. Get some neato claws, cut Alan Kerber's stomache open, start unravelling the small intestine, staple it around the school halls, tie the other end to their neck and hang them with it. (Fankies Kya, I like that one)

23. Bound duct tape to Alan Kerber's nose and mouth (Fankies again, Kya. Duct tape!)

24. Extremely hot branding through Alan Kerber's stomach (yay! Fankies Kya, again)

25. Strangle Alan Kerber with a pink g-string (I'll wear gloves so I'm careful not to touch the pinkness, of course; thanks, Kya, again)

26. Shove 36 condoms down Alan Kerber's throat, then put a sock over his head, rubber band it and bind his legs (thanks, AGAIN, Kya =--'=)

27. Slice Alan Kerber into a million pieces and serve it to all his friends without them knowing what they're eating.

28. Pin Alan Kerber up from their ankles, take a two-man saw, and saw him in half vertically (fankies, Sephiroth or whatever you wanna be called)

29. Tie Alan Kerber to a boat, cover him in honey, and let bugs eat him (thanks, again, Sephiroth)

30. Drown Alan Kerber in slow, boiling acid (again, fankies Sephi)

31. BURN ALAN KERBER!

32. Put Alan Kerber in a box full of maggots that'll eat him alive (thanks, Rai)

33. Mummify Alan Kerber alive, going through the process of removing their brain and stuff like that (thanks, again, RaiRai)

34. Jam: Off with his manhood! (thanks...of course...to..Jam..)

35. Continuously stab Alan Kerber with Sacred Pencils.

36. Hit Alan Kerber with Holy Rocks until he dies.

37. Drown Alan Kerber in Blessed Tapioka.

38. Buy a cute lion and have it eat Alan Kerber.

39. Use Alan Kerber as the one and only LIVING PIN CUSHION

40. Put Alan Kerber in a washing machine on high. Mwahahahahaha...

41. Bury Alan Kerber alive.

42. Stick Alan Kerber in a blender..

43. Hit Alan Kerber repeatively over the head with the retarded console game, X-box, which he ACTUALLY likes...

44. Blow Alan Kerber up with the wondeful, wonderful invention known as dynamites.

45. Drop Alan Kerber in a giant shredder.

46. Make Alan Kerber drink poison.

47. Frame Alan Kerber for stealing Jam's arm and then sick Jam on'im.

48. Smash Alan Kerber's feet in a trunk of a small car, make his head drag on the ground and drive around really fast (thanks, Rai)

49. Shove explosives in Alan Kerber's mouth and light 'im off. (thankies, again, Rai)

50. Do all of the above to him. (Hey, I'd make all of the time in the world to kill him =^-^=)