To protect the dude from annoying people IMing him, I didn't put his AIM s/n.

Me: I lost my hamster!
Him: who is this?
Me: I'm lost in my own little front yard.
Me: And the cows won't stop meowing.
Me: Or are those chickens..
Me: You aren't talking..the blessed tapioka pudding is getting sad...
Me: My friend lost her arm.
Him: who is this?
Me: Don't tell her I have it.
Me: Because..if you do, she'll kill everyone.
Me: And then the pigs will rule the world once again.
Me: Your potato's getting cold.
Me: It looks just like a holy rock.
Me: You better eat it.
Me: Beware of Dog, the banana.
Me: He'll eat you if you eat him.
Me: The blessed tapioka pudding isn't blessed anymore.
Me: What'd you do to it?
Me: Flying fingers are attacking your house!
Me I'm sure glad I'm not there..
Me: You should wake from your deep sleep.
Me: We must go to the zoo if you want to be cured of cancer.
Him: I think I will stay asleep
Me: The blessed tapioka pudding that is blessed no longer shall became flan soon.
Me: That would not be good.
Me: As we all know, flan with soon become phlegm, and it will attack you in its dreams.
Me: Then, in real life, while you're sleeping it will...
Me: EAT YOUR CHICKENS
Me: And your chickens will die from drowning in blood.
Me: NO, NOT THEIR BLOOD...
Me: NOT THE PHLEGM'S BLOOD...
Me: THE HAUNTED GUY THAT KNOWS YOUR MOTHER'S FRIEND'S BROTHER'S HO WHOSE LIVING IN BILL CLINTON'S BASEMENT.
Me: I Bill Clinton has a basement..
Me: *if